Can you be a runner if you hate running?

I hate movement.

I know. That sounds not-believable, but ask my family. One of my least favorite things to do on the planet is walk my dog. The hardest part of every single day of my life is that moment I have to get up off the couch and walk upstairs to my bedroom to go to bed. I’m that girl who gets mad when someone says things like, “OMG the weather is SO nice let’s just walk there!”

Like, NO.

I don’t like walking. I don’t like dancing. I don’t like biking. I don’t like Zumba classes. I don’t like swimming. I don’t like yoga. I really don’t like pickleball.

I would describe every single one of these activities as something I would like to do far less than sitting on my ass bingeing a Korean drama while slurping ramyun noodles or cuddling Lulu.

I am, at heart, a sedentary person. I love curling up with a good book, writing in my diary, eating French fries, napping with my dog, sipping on black coffee while daydreaming, listening to a friend’s voice note, i.e., all activities that require minimal movement.

I’ve been like this pretty much my whole adult life. As a kid, I enjoyed biking, playing tag, the 50-yard dash, jump roping; but, somewhere along the way, the exertion involved with these things grew too costly. I don’t know if it’s because the exuberance of youth was devoured by chronic stress and anxiety or I just started valuing my sit-down time way more than I used to. Whatever it was, by the time I was in my early 20s, I embraced the fact that I was not an “active” person.

And yet… sitting here today, at 46, I consider myself to be a very active person.

But, I still really don’t like to move.

I’m saying all of these things not because I want you all to think I’m a lazy git (I’m not), but because I gather there are a few of you reading this right now who might relate, even a little, to my distaste for moving. Or, at a minimum, wishes they prioritized movement a bit more. Because, if someone like me, who hates moving so much, has figured out a way to stay consistently active for over a decade, maybe you can too.

Here’s the thing: as much as I hate moving, I hate how not moving makes me feel even more! I spent most of my 20s and early 30s really leaning in to the “don’t move unless you have to” philosophy, and, as a result, I found that moving my body grew exponentially harder (and more hateful). I realized I’d taken things like walking, running, jumping, and going upstairs for granted. These are not necessarily things I enjoy, but they are things I rather prefer being able to do, than not. I was also much larger than I’d ever been in my life, which came with all sorts of baggage I’ve discussed, ad nauseum, and thus won’t repeat here. Suffice it to say, that many people implicitly or explicitly made me feel like I was somehow less deserving of their respect because of my size.

I started running in 2013 because my health–physical and mental–was in shambles. I started running in 2013 because I didn’t like my appearance. I started running in 2013 because I lived right next to Lake Michigan and the idea of running along the Lake was slightly less detestable than P90. I started running in 2013 because it required no DVDs (before streaming was a thing), no gym membership, no expensive gear. I started running in 2013 because running outside subjected my body to far less scrutiny than working out at a gym. I started running in 2013 because I’d just separated from my ex and I thought a physical transformation might help me get over my depression.

I started running in 2013 and I never stopped.

Well, not, like, literally.

I don’t run every day and I’ve had to take months-long breaks to account for injury or burn-out. I sometimes take more days off than normal when I’m traveling and I’m unfamiliar with my surroundings. But, for the most part, I’ve been running consistently and regularly for the past 12 years. Even writing that sentence down is sort of astonishing to me. I really can’t think of anything–apart from my lawyer job–that I’ve done for as long as running. And I definitely can’t think of anything I hate more than my lawyer job, other than running!! LOLOL!

I kid (sort of).

I recently saw this post on Threads that caught my attention:

“If you run with headphones, you don’t love running. You love distractions. Running is about being in your own head, not escaping it. Lose the headphones, find your flow. #running”

Huzzah!! I’ve finally found something I hate more than running!! Some dude named “david.dack.75”! This sanctimonious, self-righteous, “find your flow” BS was obvious rage-bait (one that lured in none other than the formidable Kara Goucher), but I was tempted to respond, “You’re right–I don’t love running. And yeah, listening to music or a really good audiobook makes running just a little bit more bearable.”

You see, the operative question isn’t what made me start running. It’s what makes me keep running.

So, if you’re like me and you hate moving or you just want to move more, here are some things I’ve done over the years to help me cross the finish line of multiple marathons (that’s 26.2 miles–in a row):

• Headphones. I will readily admit to relying on distractions when I run. I don’t just use headphones, I’ll often watch YouTube or Netflix while I’m running on the treadmill. The year I was up for partner, I was spending a lot of time in the office, and therefore was running at the office gym much more often than normal. I propped my phone up on the treadmill and watched Sage Canaday videos on how to train for a marathon, Maangchi on how to make tteokbokki, and of course, all my beloved K-dramas. When on the road, I queued up my favorite sci-fi and mystery novels, true-crime podcasts, Rich Roll. I listened to How Not To Die at least 17 times while training for multiple marathons. In other words, I snuck some of my favorite “couch activities” into my run.
• Music. Did you know that listening to music literally reduces pain? And let me tell ya–running can get pretty painful, at times. I have been listening to the same “Running Playlist” for 10 years (see the number of Eminem songs on it 🫣)! And I really feel like the minute I turn it on, the run gets a little bit easier and I swear my heart rate goes down a few beats per minute. My playlist runs for about 50 minutes and I usually only listen to it for the last 30 minutes of my run or when I’m doing a running workout (like speed drills around a track).
• Run with Friends. This isn’t just because they are a great distraction, but just like any not-fun task (moving, packing, cleaning, homework), doing it with friends can transform it into a somewhat-fun task. Every time I come home to Chicago or my friend, Neman, visits me in L.A., I drag him out for a run (he is always so willing to join me!). Once, we left my house in the dead of winter while it was still dark outside to run 8 miles at Waterfall Glen. There’s nothing that will make running 8 miles during a Chicago winter pleasurable, but Neman’s company made the miles go by a lot faster.
• Find Community. Running double-digit miles during crap weather is horrible; but you know what’s amazing? Grousing over running double-digit miles during crap weather with other runners! Dissecting your splits with other runners! Comparing your zone 2 heart rates with other runners! Discussing your pre-marathon shake-outs with other runners! I don’t like running, but I love love LOVE nerding out over running! When I started marathon training, I fell into a small, but very passionate running group at my office. There were 4 of us and every morning, we’d get together at one of our offices, crowd around the door with coffee mugs in hand, and geek out over running for about .4 hours (sometimes longer) before returning to our billable work. One of those persons was my running buddy for my first marathon!
• Do Not Compare. My favorite things about my Foley running group (that’s the name of my former firm) was that we were all very different runners. Geoff was the fastest (having run dozens and dozens of marathons), Andrew was the youngest and least experienced (only 2 marathons), Dean was the most fun (he never judged me for walk breaks), and I was somewhere in the middle. The cardinal rule of running is that you never know where a runner you pass on the road is at–in terms of training, in terms of that run, in terms of life. They might be running super fast because they’re on the last .3 miles and they want to pick it up. They might be running super slow because they didn’t sleep well the night before. They might be wearing long-sleeves even though it’s warm outside because they have a sensitivity to sunlight. And they might be wearing headphones because even though you see them on the road every single day, they actually hate running so much they’ll do anything to distract themselves from that fact.
• Go Easy. Did you know that if you want to get faster, you actually have to run slower for most of your runs? There’s this excellent book by Matt Fitzgerald called 80/20 Running (which I listened to while running!) that talks about how running too fast, too often will actually keep you from getting faster. As Fitzgerald spells out in his books, scores and scores of elite athletes, including the GOAT, Eliud Kipchoge, spend 80% of the runs at an easy, comfortable pace (one that allows them to talk to their friends, like Neman!), and only 20% of the runs at an intense effort. If you don’t have any desire to get faster, then honestly, just run at whatever pace makes you less likely to want to die. But, if getting faster is a motivation for you, then revel in the fact that all those long, easy runs are actually helping you!
• Just Walk. No one’s watching and even if they are, who cares? Sometimes, the thing that keeps me going on a particularly gross (sweaty) run is knowing that if worse comes to worst, I can just walk. It usually doesn’t come to that, but the safety latch is always there and that’s all I need to get out and run. Now, on occasion, I will walk and that’s ok. The only thing that’ll hurt is my ego, and honestly, my ego can take a pin-prick or two. I had this same mentality when I decided to try going vegan–if I didn’t like it, I could quit! But, as with running, I never quit!
• Remove All the Barriers. I do not go to bed without first putting my sports bra, running shorts, and running socks on my nightstand. I do not pick a gym that is more than 15 minutes away from my house–even if it’s not the best gym (dude, I was not a fan of having to run at Foley’s gym). When I lived in Chicago, I checked the weather in advance and prepared myself physically (with the right clothes) and mentally (so I wouldn’t balk in the morning when I saw a blizzard outside). I run first thing in the morning, so that I can never use the “oh look at the time guess I’ll just have to do it tomorrow” excuse. If I know I have a big meeting or work obligation on a given day, I specifically do not schedule a run that day and switch out a rest day. You know what they say: fail to plan, plan to fail.
• Don’t Run. No, for real. You have to not run in order to be a runner. If you want to recover from injuries and set yourself up for consistent running over an extended period of time, you need to provide for both physical and mental breaks. I know it sounds so cliche to “listen to your body” (kinda like “find your flow”), but you do want to pay attention to your body. One year, I ignored a slight little niggling in my right shin and I got so used to ignoring it, I didn’t pay attention to it again until it hurt so badly, I couldn’t run for more than a mile. I ended up having to take several months off from running. If I’d simply taken a few days or a couple weeks off when the pain first surfaced, I probably could have addressed it instead of letting it turn into full blown shin splints (in both legs!!). The big problem with being out injured isn’t that you’re losing fitness–it’s that you’ll lose motivation. It takes TEN TIMES more energy to get off the couch than it does to take one more step. And it takes WAY more mental energy to return to running after 6 months off than it does after only a few days.
• Race! Look, I get it, competition isn’t for everyone. But racing isn’t really about competition in running. Some people like to race to chase personal bests, but I like to “race” because of the prevalence of porta-potties (peri women, I’m lookin’ at you), regular Gatorade stations, and the crowd. The medal at the end isn’t so bad either. To me, racing is an excuse to run a very long distance with a crew handing you hydration and nutrition, giving you a private place to pee, and cheering you on when you’d rather collapse to your knees and weep. Yes, some of the races can get pretty darn expensive, but I’ve run local half-marathons for $35, and it always comes with a free t-shirt and bragging rights!

Ok! That’s all the advice I have for now on how to run for over a decade even if you hate running. If you have any running advice–even if you are one of those persons who pretends to “love running” (just kidding)–drop them below. I actually get asked to write about running and “how to get into running” all the time, and I’m sure readers would love to hear from you!!

Parting Thoughts

A lot of what I wrote above was tongue-in-cheek. Because that’s what we do when we want to cry–we find a way to laugh instead! But in all seriousness, for this week’s Parting Thoughts, I’ll leave you with this short video I posted about why I run:

Wishing you all the best,
-Joanne

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